Fact: Much like snakes, pansexuals shed their skin approximately once a year. Although it may look strange to an onlooker, the process is actually completely painless and easy. Unlike snakes, however, pansexuals have the ability to modify their appearance every time they shed their skin, leading to some pansexuals emerging from their flesh cocoons with completely new features such as pointed ears or fangs.
Fact: As pink, yellow, and blue are the pride colors of the Pansexual Panthenon, using ink of any of these three colors will guarantee good results! Examples: If a pansexual uses a blue pen on their exam, they’ll get a score of 100%. If a pansexual fills out a job application with yellow ink they’ll definitely get the job. If a pansexual writes a love letter in pink ink, they’ll win the heart of their beloved without fail!
Fact: Pansexuals are all masters of the art of disguise. Not only are pansexuals excellent bank robbers, cosplayers, and real villains in cartoon towns determined to destroy sports once and for all, but they also make excellent spies. Although the Pansexual Pantheon has not been at war for millennia, pansexuals are still able to use their abilities at disguise and espionage to return to supermarkets and get extra free samples.
Fact: When a pansexual, real or fictional, becomes famous, all other pansexuals gain that individuals’ ability. For example, all pansexuals gained the ability to time travel after the rise of famous pansexual Jack Harkness, and are able to self-heal due to the success of Deadpool.
Fact: Pansexuals’ pets are also automatically pansexual. They are known as Com-pan-ions, and while pansexuals are busy hoarding gold, they travel in every direction helping people in need. They also sometimes help other groups, like the Lesbian Legion or the Bisexual Battalion.
Fact: Visiting the Pansexual Pantheon is easy! All a pansexual must do is touch something that is the colours of the pansexual flag (pink, yellow, and/or blue), and they will be instantly teleported to the front gates of the Pantheon! However, this does cause some problems when a pansexual attempts to eat a banana or drink a bottle of Gatorade.
Fact: Although pansexuals are not attracted to pans, they do have a particular affinity for all forms of cookware. Many pansexuals have extensive collections of cast iron skillets, saucepans, and colanders.
Fact: Many of the world’s most successful pirates are pansexuals. In fact, although little is known about history’s most successful pirate, the majority of historians agree that they were originally from the Pansexual Pantheon. Although some attribute pansexuals’ success at piracy to their affinity for ‘booty’, the most popular belief is that pansexuals are innately skilled at sea, and have an automatic +2 when using broadswords.
Fact: In instances where the Avatar happens to be pansexual, they are able to bend every element, as opposed to only water, earth, fire, and air. This makes them the most terrifying Avatars, as they are able to bend radioactive elements (such as plutonium and radon) to their will.
Fact: The exact location of the Pansexual Pantheon is only known to pansexuals, and has served as an ethereal hiding place for pansexuals during natural disasters, wars, and hostile alien takeovers of Earth, for millennia. Although members of other nations frequently visit the Pansexual Pantheon for celebration, it is surrounded by cloaking magic and all GPS devices temporarily stop working while within the Pantheon.